Who are the grand poo bahs who decide what constitutes a mental illness? The writers of the DSM V manual? Let me in because I want to create a new mental health category; Admin Aversion Disorder.

To get a diagnosis of AAD the patient must have four or more of the following clinical features;
1. At least 3 bills have been unpaid to the point of having a phone or gas cut off. This is because the bills were lost, somewhere in a pile of papers in one of 17 locations or because paying bills did not make it to the ‘To Do’ list.

2. What is a ‘To Do’ list?

3. The 17 piles of papers have become leaning towers of shredable mess that are now altogether too unwieldy to sort through.

4. Regularly a no-show at business meetings, social arrangements and dental appointments as either there is no diary, the diary exists but is not checked, the diary entries are sporadic in nature and often incorrect making the diary a useless resource.

5. Has a potential $5000 owing in Medicare or private health insurance rebates if the original receipts for medical expenses were discoverable in the paper piles and the patient in question could be bothered filling in and lodging forms.

The aversion to admin curiously overlaps with a particular kind of genius that ensures peculiar success in many arenas of life, especially in one’s career. Provided the AAD sufferer has the kind of personal assistant who does not think questions like ‘when is my wife’s birthday?’ and ‘what did you buy my mum for mother’s day’ to be crossing the line, he can appear to be reliable, punctual and efficient, fooling many intuitive colleagues.

On the other hand, for those afflicted without the benefit of said uber-assistant, the sufferers’ parents, partners and colleagues are often in need of support sessions, group therapy and several punching bags. I’m thinking of applying for a Government grant to set up a support group. Any lobbyists out there wanna help?